


No Publicity is Bad Publicity

by Nowaki



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Humor, JJ makes a sex tape, M/M, Masturbation, Voyeurism, YOI secret valentine 2017, and he needs Phichit's help, for some reason?, gifts revealed on v-day, mostly - Freeform, pretend I'm funny
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-07
Updated: 2017-02-07
Packaged: 2018-09-22 15:00:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9612935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nowaki/pseuds/Nowaki
Summary: "You're asking me toleakyour non-existent sex tape?"In which Phichit gets roped into helping JJ make a sex tape.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Don't ask me why I wrote this. The giftee wanted JJ and said she liked JJ x Phichit so... yeah. I'm a comedic writer so naturally, I wanted to make this as goofy and quirky as possible! I hope you like it, Valentine!
> 
> Find me on tumblr @nowaki-star

"You're asking me to _leak_ your non-existent sex tape?"

Strangely enough, this wasn't the weirdest thing that Phichit had ever been asked to do. It wasn't even the strangest request he'd gotten from JJ. That honor belonged to when he'd approached Phichit in a locker room, buck naked, and asked him to rub some lotion onto the tattoo above his butt. Phichit had never seen a man with a tattoo on the lower back before, a location that was popular in his culture only among women of a certain _profession._ Although it seemed tame now, at the time, he’d been shocked.

Still, this was pretty high on Phichit's list of bizarre entreaties made to him.

"Well, you'll have to make it first." Jean said simply, as if Phichit should have figured that out on his own. Before he could ask why that burden had been put on him, JJ continued, "JJ only works with the best, and everyone knows you're the king of camera angles."

"Thank you, but I don't think I can do it."

"Of course you can!" He beamed. "I know it probably seems kinda stressful but don't worry, I'll direct it. Besides I need you. I can't film and be the star of the show! I've also never edited video so I'll have to leave all those technical things to you."

"You want it to be edited?" Phichit asked, causing JJ to raise an eyebrow.

"Well yeah. If I'm going to do this, I want the finished product to be good."

Phichit sighed, "I don't know how to edit video."

"We'll just have to figure it out then."

"JJ, I really don't think I can do this." He pleaded with his eyes for JJ to understand, he didn't mind leaking it but producing it was an entirely different thing.

"Like I said, we'll figure it out. I'm sure there are tutorials on YouTube."

And so, Phichit found himself being dragged into the creation of a rival skater's sex tape.

 

For as good as he was at most things, JJ wasn't good at selling his sex appeal. He was also in so far over his head that Phichit wondered if he'd ever even watched pornography.

"Um, JJ, I hate to say this but no one wants to watch a guy with a limp dick fold his clothes after he takes them off."

"You said I should strip, instead of start out naked?"

"Right. Strip. Not get underdressed. There's a difference."

JJ sighed and flopped down onto his bed. "I don't get it."

"I'm just trying to help." Phichit replied, abandoning the camera so he could sit down beside JJ.

"Well, since you're apparently a genius on this subject, what do you suggest?" The two time bronze medalist asked.

"Well, you could touch yourself. Your abs, I mean, not the dick yet." He clarified when JJ reached down. "Put your pants back on, but leave your shirt."

JJ did as he was instructed and yanked his boxers and pants back on while Phichit took his place once again behind the camera.

"Okay, start by massaging your abs." Phichit said, zooming in on the tight muscles. They rippled with every movement and Phichit made a mental note to make sure they were in view when things heated up. "Good, bring one hand up to a nipple."

JJ arched one of his eye brows.

"Just do it, its sexy." He said, lens following the hand up Jean's chest.

"Oh," he sighed, surprised. "That actually feels good." Phichit made sure to get JJ's face in focus.

"Okay, second hand. Lick your fingers before you touch yourself." Phichit told him. JJ actually groaned when his wet digits touched one of the sensitive nubs. "Good, keep going."

He panned out, filmed for a couple minutes before he gave JJ his next command. “Okay, take your pants off. Slowly.”

He awkwardly stood and began to tug at his waistline but stopped almost instantly. JJ looked at the camera and winked before turning to show off his toned back. The tattoo was already visible, but it was striking in its boldness. He was wearing bright red boxers, just like in his first Instagram photo showing off the tat as he worked out. JJ smirked over his shoulder before pulling those down as well, leisurely revealing more and more skin.

“Drop them.”

JJ obeyed and kicked them aside for good measure. Phichit was just glad he wasn’t trying to fold them. He felt a white-hot current race through his body, and Phichit knew he was fucked.

Seeing JJ tentatively trace the lines of his abdomen down to the seam of his torso and thigh, Phichit figured it was only natural that his body take interest. It would make anyone a little hot and bothered, especially with the way that Jean's gaze was trained on the camera. Phichit had been wrong before, JJ knew exactly what he was doing. Probably had from the very start.

Phichit was fucked.

"Can I please touch myself now?" He begged, glancing up at Phichit. He had a fleeting thought that he would have to cut that part of the video out later but he shoved it to the back of his mind.

"Yeah," he breathed, mouth suddenly dry.

JJ laid back and wrapped one of his hands around himself. Phichit felt himself grow hard as JJ teased himself, but there wasn’t much he could do except watch through the lens of the camera.

“Easy. Not too fast.”

Jean shuttered as he thrust into his own fist, staring Phichit down all the while. He was certainly putting on a show with the way his hand twisted and his thumb came down over the slit with each up-stroke. He licked his lips before shoving a couple of fingers into his mouth. He looked like positively pornographic and Phichit would be a lair if he pretended he wasn’t considering putting his own hand down his pants.

“How am I doing?” JJ asked, licking his palm before bringing it down to replace his dry hand.

“Perfect.”

JJ’s eyes fluttered shut and Phichit knew by the way he was biting his lower lip that he was trying not to moan.

“You’re fantastic,” Phichit complimented, flicking the button of his jeans open. His words made Jean speed up and he struggled to match his pace. “Fuck. How am I supposed to be able to do my job, when you’re so fucking hot?”

He was not at all surprised that “King JJ” had a bit of a praise kink. If anything, he was surprised that JJ wasn’t playing a song he’d written in the background… Maybe that was one of the things he was going to ask Phichit to edit into the video.

“Say my name?”

“JJ?”

“My full name,” he clarified.

“Jean-Jacque Leroy,” Phichit breathed, and that was all it took to make JJ come.

 

"So, how long before you post it?" JJ asked, skin still covered in sweat as Phichit rubbed lotion into his tattoos. They were old enough that they should feel like normal skin but somehow the inked flesh felt smoother than a man's body had the right to be. Maybe it was softer due to frequent applications of lotion? Phichit wasn't a stranger to moisturizing, but that he also didn't consider himself to be very masculine. JJ was a different story though, nothing about him was soft.

Except his tattoos.

"Tomorrow, maybe? What's this say?" He asked, outlining the script beneath the leaf on his bicep. The lettering was difficult to read, even if Phichit did have a vague idea of cursive letters.

"Well, the maple leaf is a symbol of my country, so that's part of the Canadian anthem." JJ explained. "God, keep our land glorious and free. O Canada, we stand on guard for thee. O Canada, we stand on guard for thee."

"You must be very proud of your heritage." Phichit commented. "We have that in common."

"You could say the same of most skaters. We all dedicate our bodies through training and dieting. We show our nationalism through our costumes and music. However, those things don't last. We all eventually retire. But I'm different, I went a step further. My body will forever show my pride."

"Is that-"

"It's JJ style." He said, managing to hook both of hands together to make his trademark double J. All attraction that Phichit had felt earlier melted away.

"I'm gonna go." Phichit said awkwardly, standing up and stretching. His back was sore from hunching over a camera.

“Hey, when you post it, can you make it so that everybody but my parents are able to see it?”


End file.
